


Unchangeable

by wildes



Category: The Mighty Boosh RPF
Genre: M/M, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-21
Updated: 2013-09-21
Packaged: 2017-12-27 06:04:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/975309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildes/pseuds/wildes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Upon filming the third series of the Boosh, Julian is spending most of his time with Noel. It’s the same guilty thrill Julian remembers from all those years ago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unchangeable

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted in June 2012 on Livejournal. I renamed it (not that the name got any better) and rewrote some bits that made me cringe.

It is four weeks into the filming of the third series of the Boosh, and both Noel and Julian feel exhausted. In the early hours of every morning, they are driven to the set and late every night they’re brought back to the hotel they’re living in, and it’s taxing and weirdly intense. Julian sees Noel more than he sees anyone, and it’s like they’ve travelled ten years back in time, to the days where they used to live together, work together, do everything together.

It’s oddly nostalgic and it is bringing back thoughts and urges Julian had told himself he’d buried long, long ago. He can’t help it, though, because for the last four weeks, for the first time in years, Noel has belonged only to him. It doesn’t matter how much he wishes he wouldn’t think like that. Each morning when he wakes up to witness Noel climbing to the boot of the car, still half-asleep and complaining, it feels like an odd privilege to be the one seeing him like that, completely vulnerable and hair still moist from the quick shower he’s taken while Julian has been insistently knocking on the paper thin wall separating their hotel rooms.

It’s the same guilty thrill Julian remembers from all those years ago, whenever Noel used to talk to him like he never talked to any of his other friends, when he used to show Julian sides of him nobody else ever saw, and - Julian used to be sure - how he used to touch him more often than was really necessary, sneaky, lingering touches that used to leave Julian breathless.

It’s all coming back in waves, and Julian feels like he is suffocating, because of course it’s all worse now. Julian has a family, and it’s not just himself he’s hurting anymore. Although he knows Julia would never guess, quite blown away by the charm of Noel herself, Julian fears it’s all slowly but surely leading to him destroying everything that has ever meant something to him.

Julian’s deep in thought, pondering whether or not it’s too late to give a call to Julia and eventually deciding to only send her a text, when the car slows down and stops. Their driver turns around in his seat to look at Noel and Julian with an amused expression.

“See you in the morning,” he says and laughs what Julian can only guess is at their exhausted faces.

“Thanks,” Julian mutters and follows Noel out of the car to the chilly London air.

“I’m just going to crash,” Noel says tiredly, crossing his arms across his chest. He is shivering slightly.

Julian nods. They have formed a habit of getting a drink in the hotel lobby every night after work, but tonight Julian doesn’t feel like it either. “I’m going to get something to eat,” he says and motions towards the small shop across the street. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Noel nods and heads inside. Julian looks at him walk away for a moment before forcing himself to snap out of and crossing the street.

“All right,” he says to the shop clerk and quickly grabs some snacks. He rushes out and stops in the hotel lobby. The smell of coffee is tempting. He takes a step towards the stairs. He really shouldn’t drink coffee now: it will only keep him up half the night, or whatever is left of it. But as he takes another step, he can feel the dull ache behind his eyes that hits him whenever he’s short of caffeine.

He sighs and turns on his feet. Resigned, he fills a cardboard cup with coffee. After a fleeting thought and a moment of hesitation, he takes another cup and fills it up as well, pouring cream and dropping three sugar cubes in to the liquid. There is nobody from staff around and Julian doesn’t bother ringing the bell, leaving a tenner on the desk behind the counter instead.

He jogs the stairs up to his door and punches in the door code. He opens the door and sees Noel laying there, in Julian's bed. His stomach flips with pleasure as he closes the door. “I brought you coffee,” he says quietly and he can hear Noel barking out a surprised laugh.

“God, Julian,” he says and sits up to take his cup, lifting the lid to check it has cream in it. He grins widely, holding his mug close to his face, embracing the warmth and the familiar smell of it.

Julian doesn’t say anything, just pointedly takes off his shoes, and sits next to Noel on the bed. Noel scoots over, giving Julian room to lift his feet up on the bed, and soon they are sitting side by side, drinking their coffees in comfortable silence.

Noel is the first one to finish his drink, setting his mug on the bedside table and leaning back on the pillows. He yawns and his eyes flicker up to look at Julian when he throws his empty cup to the floor and lowers himself down to lie next to Noel.

A rogue tress of Noel’s hair is tickling Julian’s cheek, but Julian doesn’t move. They are still not talking, the silence between them stretching and slowly becoming like a game, and Julian feels like he’d lose if he broke it.

Despite the coffee, Julian’s eyelids feel heavy, and his thoughts are circling with the kind of logic he associates with sleep. He looks at the ceiling in a sleepy haze, connecting the dots of dirt in his mind.

“How’d you know?” Noel asks, his voice barely above a whisper. “That I’d be in your room?”

Julian reluctantly tries to form a sentence. “Just a hunch,” he says softly, turning his head a bit to be able to look at Noel. “Why did you come?”

Noel shrugs, his shoulder almost hitting Julian in the chin. “Don’t know. Wanted to.”

“Yeah.” Julian’s belly flips, and a wave of shame washes through him at once. He pushes all unpleasant thoughts away from his mind, just focusing on watching Noel watch him. There's a puzzled expression on the younger man's sharp-featured face.

“Julian,” he says, still talking in that slow, sleepy kind of way, the way they used to share secrets all those years ago, staying up until the morning and then sleeping through the next day. “Do you think we’ve changed?”

Julian feels like he shouldn’t be surprised by how similar Noel’s train of thought seems to be to his own, both of them comparing the past to the present. “Yes,” Julian says at once, “we have.”

“Really?” Noel says and his voice has gone small. “You know…”

“What?” Julian prompts gently, turning to look at the ceiling once again, to give his friend a bit more room with his thoughts.

“I used to hope we’d never change. That we’d always… you know.” Noel’s hand curls around Julian’s as he speaks, and Julian lets him hold it. Noel’s hand is warm.

Julian’s pulse quickens and he starts to feel more alert. They are way out of his comfort zone, but it’s Noel and Julian has always allowed him things he would never allow anyone else. He squeezes Noel’s hand tightly, ignoring the buzzing in his brain and the tightness of his chest.

“Remember when you almost punched that comedian for slagging me off on stage?” Noel says after a moment, talking to the ceiling above him but still holding Julian’s hand. He chuckles at the memory.

Julian remembers. “He was a dick,” he says softly.

“Lee was with us, wasn’t he, remember?” Noel turns to look at Julian, eyes bright and big and incredibly blue, his make-up slightly smudged around the corners of his eyes. He’s grinning widely now, every trace of sleepiness suddenly gone. “He got drunk and I kept going on about how cool it was that you defended me and eventually he got really annoyed…”

Julian’s stomach drops again, because he knows where this story is going now. He swallows hard.

“…And he went, ‘Your boyfriend saved you, did he? Why don’t you give him a big kiss of thank you?’” Noel pauses and laughs, turning to his side, his hand sliding away from Julian’s. He gazes at Julian intently.

Julian swallows again, forcing himself to speak. “He was quite shocked when you did.”

Noel nods, smiling wide, seemingly happy with himself even after all this time. He licks over his lips, and Julian knows he shouldn’t notice it but he does. “Want to know a secret?” Noel asks, and there’s a cheeky undertone to his question that makes Julian wonder if he really wants to know.

When he doesn’t reply, Noel decides to take it as a yes like always and turns to lie on his back again. “That wasn’t the first time I thought about kissing you that night.”

It takes a few moments for the words to start making sense. “What?”

Noel laughs it off like it’s all just a big fat joke. “I was really turned on by how you stood up for me,” he says, and Julian can’t tell if he’s being serious or not. “I used to be turned on by you a lot,” he adds thoughtfully, so casually it leaves Julian’s brain whirling.

Julian swallows, his heart pounding in his chest. “And… now?”

Noel smiles sadly. “You said it yourself. We’ve changed. Everything… has changed.”

“Not that much,” Julian says quickly and hates how his voice breaks at the words.

“No?” Noel whispers at once, turning his head towards Julian so quickly Julian’s amazed his neck doesn’t snap.

Julian shakes his head, his eyes never leaving Noel’s. He has hardly any time to react when Noel jumps up on the bed, climbing on to Julian, straddling his hips and lowering his head down for a kiss.

“You mean I could still do this?” he whispers, his hand coming to rest on Julian’s cheek. He leans down and kisses Julian slow and soft, tentative after all the time since they last did this. Tentative, because even back then, it was never heated and pointed like it’s now.

Julian rests his hand on Noel’s thigh and mumbles out a “Yes”.

Noel smiles at him. He kisses Julian’s jaw and his ear lobe, whispering in his ear. “You’re right. Not that much has changed. You still turn me on, Ju.” He grinds down on Julian once, smirking mischievously. Julian’s words catch in his throat.

Noel rolls off him and cuddles close to Julian. “Six hours until we need to get up,” he points out casually, as though they hadn’t just made out.

Julian’s heart slows down as moments go by in what is again quite a comfortable silence. He feels a wave of exhaustion go over him as the adrenaline in his bloodstream begins to fade. He yawns.

“I’m going to sleep here tonight,” Noel says his eyes already closed. He has his stubborn face on, and Julian knows it wouldn’t be any use if he tried to kick him off the bed. Luckily, he doesn’t necessarily want to.

“Just like old times, then,” he says and sees Noel’s lips curve into a small smile.

“Just like old times.”


End file.
